How to Support Someone Who Has a Mental Health Issue

Do you know someone around you who is having emotional problems?

Is it a family member or loved one of yours that you want to help but don’t know how to support?

If you are able to be there for the person with a feeling of wanting to help in any way, that person is surely feeling empowered by that.

However, your kindness sometimes may get in the way as a result of being intrusive, or not considering the other person’s personal space, etc without you realizing.

Of course, there is no correct answer as to what we should do.

Each person has his or her own relationship and way of thinking, and there are many other factors that come into play in how to support the person.

Please consider these aspects and refer to the points I am going to write about now.

◎Do not judge good or bad from your point of view.

When listening to someone else, I think it is natural to compare your values and ideas with theirs.

By doing so, you can exchange opinions, feeling that this person has interesting ideas that are different from your own, or conversely, that they are strange.

I think this is a good way to deepen our understanding of each other.

However, when a person is mentally distressed, he or she is not interested in getting to know you deeply.

Nor might they have emotional capacity to accept your opinion.

In fact, if you express your opinion regarding their feelings, you may drive them away, making them feel that they are pathetic.

This may also lead to an argument, which may cause the other person to close his/her mind.

Sometimes it is effective to try to encourage the other person with words of encouragement, but if instead you first focus on listening to what the other person is saying from his or her perspective, the other person can feel relieved and reassured.

◎Use active listening.

I wrote that it is important to listen from the other person’s perspective.

This attitude is called active listening, and it is one of the most effective ways not only to put the other person at ease, but also when you want them to talk about their feelings and for you to understand them better.

When you are listening, you may consider the followings.

Is there a gap between the context of the other person’s story and the way he or she speaks?

Are you listening to the other person while acknowledging his or her feelings?

Are they able to sense that you are listening to them seriously?

For more details about active listening, please refer to ” How to Improve Communication Part2. ~Active Listening~“

◎ Gain a better understanding of mental health.

Knowing what the other person is suffering from and why he/she is suffering from such symptoms makes all the difference.

Your stress level of not knowing what to do for the other person and the other person’s level of feeling of being understood can be different.

If you find out how the person feels and behaves based on what he/she has told you and what you feel about their symptoms, you may come up with some insights.

This makes it easier for you to know what you should do.

However, do not assume that the person is definitely suffering from certain mental illnesses before consulting a specialist or getting a diagnosis.

◎ Talk about the options for professional support.

When people are experiencing emotional difficulties, the world they see tends to be limited.

They are stuck in negative thoughts and seem to be left alone in the dark.

And sometimes they choose the worst option.

At such times, if there is a way out of that painful situation, even if only a little, they might want to try it.

As an option, you may suggest that there is a counselor or other professional they can talk to.

However, don’t force it.

Just let them know that they have that option.

This is because they have their own preparedness and their own right timing, and forcing them to do so often brings an ineffective outcome.

Simply letting them know that there are other options can make them feel easier.

◎Do not neglect your own self-care.

When you are involved with someone who is going through emotionally difficult times, it is natural for you to feel hard on yourself.

When someone is suffering from emotional distress, those around him/her may feel that he/she is behaving in a self-centered manner.

No matter how much you try to encourage the person or tell him/her how to make him/her feel better, he/she is not always able to do so, and it can be stressful for you to have to deal with it.

Moreover, the power of negative emotions is very strong and can involve others.

So don’t ignore your time and what you want to do.

Always remember to take care of yourself.

Do things you can relax and enjoy and take care of yourself so that the negative power does not overwhelm you.

I will write more about “How to Take Care of Yourself When Taking Care of Someone with a Mental Health Issue” in my next blog.

You want to do something about your loved one’s emotional distress, and it is natural and kind of you to want to do something about it.

Think about what you can do now to help like being there for them and listen to them, find out how they are affected by their difficult feelings, give them more options, remember to take care of yourself, and so on.

Even if this attitude is communicated to the other person, his or her feelings should become a little lighter.