Let me start with a conclusion.
Running away and avoiding is not necessarily a bad thing.
That is because it can be a strategy to not be excessively stressed.
However, if the avoidance is not done well, it can have the opposite effect, which can result in negative psychological consequences.
First of all, what does avoidance mean?
It means that when you feel that something uncomfortable is about to happen to you, or that you will probably experience an unpleasant feeling, you do something different or nothing to avoid the situation.
As I mentioned earlier, avoidance is not a bad thing.
People with PTSD and anxiety are especially sensitive to situations and possible triggers that threaten their emotions and try to avoid them.
It is a defensive instinct to protect themselves and prevent a complete mental breakdown.
Even if those who do not have such symptoms may avoid certain things or people because they do not want to go through the same painful experiences in the past.
However, constant avoidance can often have the opposite effect on the mental health of the person.
Therefore, when avoiding a potentially stressful situation, there are conditions that must be met to ensure that it does not have a negative impact on your mental health.
That is, one must be able to understand the reasons why one is avoiding the situation, the effects of the behavior on oneself, and be in control of one’s feelings.
When we feel in control of the situation, we are able to calm our emotions and cope well with stressful situations.
So how would it affect us mentally if we just desperately try to avoid the situation without a sense of control in it?
First, the underlying anxiety may never go away.
Suppose you lack confidence in public speaking and avoid such situations anyway, such as presentations.
You can protect yourself from stress by avoiding it, but you may always be nervous and anxious about such situations, and you spend all your energy avoiding them, which makes your mind tired at all times.
And you forget to challenge yourself.
By practicing little by little and getting yourself used to the situation, you will become more confident and less anxious.
Furthermore, if you have to do something at school or work, your only option may be to quit if you try to avoid it.
That can lead to pushing yourself even harder.
Second, avoidance can lead to a loss of connection with others.
For example, if you try to avoid talking to someone as much as possible because you are always worried about what people think of you, you may lose touch with others or even become socially withdrawn.
Having someone to confide in and interacting with, even someone with whom you do not have a deep relationship, naturally reduces stress and increases your enjoyment of life.
Being completely isolated can lead to a sense of pain and difficulty in living in society.
I doubt that many people want to be isolated willingly.
Then, by taking other behaviors to avoid unpleasant feelings or to feel a little better, you may end up causing physical harm or mental distress.
For example, excessive drinking, drug abuse, unprotected sex, etc.
Although they may make you feel better at the time, they often lead to a worsening of the situation rather than a lightening of your feelings, such as blaming yourself for not doing what you should have done because of the effects of such behavior, or feeling even more stressed and hopeless because of the situation that is out of your control.
These are the kinds of negative psychological effects that can occur when we are trying to avoid unpleasant things without thinking deeply about them.
So, moving back to the point.
It is important to know how to effectively avoid uncomfortable situations, that is, to know why you are avoiding the situation and the consequences of avoiding it.
To do this, ask yourself this question.
Is the situation, thing, or person you are trying to avoid a hindrance to your process of mental growth?
There are good and bad stresses.
Good stress, or eustress, is what you feel when you are trying to start things in a new environment, and it can be the fuel that motivates you.
Conversely, bad stress, or distress, is what makes you feel difficult, such as getting fired from your job, losing a loved one, etc.
Based on that, in the situation you are trying to avoid, which stress do you feel more strongly, eustress or distress?
If the stress is only distressing, then I would suggest that it is okay to avoid it.
Of course, we all experience difficult situations that we want to overcome, and inevitable hard times, and we have to accept them, even if slowly.
But if you can avoid them beforehand, I think you should do so.
On the other hand, if there is even a small element of eustress, then think about it a little.
You may feel stressed and a little uncomfortable doing it, but if there is a possibility of growth ahead of you, it is worth trying it instead of avoiding it.
Make your decision by considering what you can protect by avoiding it and what you can gain by taking on the challenge.
And one more thing, look back at yourself when you do something differently by way of avoidance.
Are you doing something that results in negative physical or mental effects in order to avoid unpleasant feelings or to lift your feelings?
Does the behavior relieve your anxiety or stress and keep you feeling good in the long run?
If not, change the behavior.
Ask someone to listen to your feelings, exercise, listen to your favorite music, go to your favorite place, etc. Find a behavior that can have a long-term positive impact on your mind and body and replace it with the negative one.
If it is something simple and easy to do right away, that is even better.
Avoiding situations that may make one feel uncomfortable is a natural and instinctive behavior.
However, to continue to avoid them without thinking about the reasons or effects of the avoidance can drive you to mental exhaustion.
If you engage in avoidance behavior, make sure you know what it is so that you can control your own behavior and emotions.
Kokoro Switch 