How to Struggle with Your Concern.

We all experience difficulties.

Difficulties in interacting with people with different ideas from our own, barriers to what we want to do or achieve, and even the decisions we make in our daily lives can lead to our concerns.

That’s inevitable.

Having worries makes us think about what to do and helps us to learn how to move on.

However, if we are not able to deal with our concerns well, we may become emotionally depressed and have a hard time getting out of it.

So, we have to fight against our worries.

In other words, we have to struggle with our problems and deal with them better.

I would like to look at what we can do to effectively struggle with our problems.

◎ Do not focus on the problem, focus on the solution.

Once we start worrying, we are greatly swayed by negative emotions.

This is natural.

However, when we are dominated by negative emotions, we focus only on the problem and become confused about what to do.

For example, if you forget to make an important appointment with a friend and make the person angry, and you are stuck with feelings such as, “What have I done, he must hate me, I am such a bad person, he will never forgive me,” you are focusing only on what has happened.

Of course, we need to reflect on what happened, but we can’t change a difficult situation by focusing only on that.

The only way to break out of the situation is to change your perspective to try to figure out how to solve the problem.

If you have offended someone, how can you get him to forgive you?

If there has been a misunderstanding, how can you resolve the misunderstanding?

By focusing on solutions, you can minimize the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative emotions and improve both your own feelings and the situation.

◎ Do not ignore unpleasant feelings, accept them.

When we have problems, we are bothered by unpleasant feelings.

We want to avoid unpleasant feelings as much as possible, and we may unconsciously suppress them.

However, I believe it is very important to know how you feel at particular times in order to cope well with stress.

It helps you realize that you are not feeling good, that you are struggling, and that there is a problem out there.

By accepting uncomfortable feelings as they are and understanding yourself deeply, you will be better prepared when a similar situation occurs or is about to occur in the future.

In other words, you will be better prepared and able to respond to the situation more calmly.

◎ Do not blame your personality, feel responsible for your actions.

When you do something wrong or fail to do something, do you ever blame your own personality, saying, “I am like this anyway.”

It is perfectly normal to acknowledge your dislikes and weaknesses and think, “I don’t like this part of myself,” or “I want to fix this part of myself,” and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, I do not think it is a good thing to blame one’s own personality every time an event that triggers distress occurs.

Personality is formed through a complex combination of what we are born with, the environment in which we have grown up, and the relationships we have encountered.

It becomes ingrained, and I believe it is difficult to change completely.

But you can change the actions you take.

If you want to do it in a certain way, you can do it.

If you deny yourself that you are such a person and that’s why you got a poor outcome, you already have a negative conclusion about what you are going to do even before you do it.

Even though you don’t know the actual outcome.

You may have your weak points, but taking responsibility for each of your actions, thinking that the reason you couldn’t do it this time is because you didn’t prepare enough in advance, or that the reason you caused trouble is because you weren’t attentive enough, etc., may be the way to seriously deal with your concerns.

After acknowledging who you are, think about how you can change your behavior to struggle with and solve your problems.

Everyone has their own way of struggling with their problems.

If you struggle and struggle but it does not work, you may want to turn around and try a different approach.