Is It Important to Express Emotions?

Do you ever suppress your emotions and keep them to yourself because you don’t want to bother others, you have to respect the opinions of those around you, or there is no point in saying what you are feeling?

You may be able to handle a certain extent of emotions within yourself.

But if you suppress yourself too much, it can become a source of stress and cause a mental breakdown.

Imagine how a young child expresses emotions.

Children cannot express themselves well because of their much less knowledge of the meaning and use of words compared to adults.

Therefore, when things do not go their way, they cry, scream, or hit things.

This can actually be applied to adults as well.

If you are unable to express your feelings well in words or if you suppress them, you eventually become frustrated.

This frustration builds up, and as a result, you may hurt yourself or others, break things, or throw your feelings that have nowhere else to go into something.

Moreover, unlike that of children, in the case of adults, their behavior is more complicated and more damaging.

That is why it is important to let your feelings out.

Expressing feelings well can have the following positive mental effects.

◇You can look at yourself objectively.

By uttering your feelings vocally and hearing them with your ears, you can know how you feel in a new way.

Knowing again how you feel leads to looking at yourself objectively.

By taking a step back and reflecting on yourself, you can gain a new or deeper understanding of your values and what your needs are.

As a result, you can calmly observe situations and come up with decisions and solutions that are not influenced by emotional responses.

◇It can enhance “EQ (Emotional Quotient).”

EQ is the ability to handle one’s own emotions well, to grasp the feelings of others, and to understand the intentions of one’s own and others’ behavior based on how each feels.

People with a high EQ tend to be more resilient to stress and able to build good relationships with others.

Understanding one’s own feelings is essential to improve one’s EQ.

Under what circumstances do you feel the way you feel, and why do you feel that way?

Being able to express these feelings in words, rather than just trying to understand them in your head, proves that you really understand them.

Know your own feelings and improve the emotional intelligence.

◇It helps develop intimate relationships.

By honestly talking to someone about your feelings, the other person feels that you are open to them, that you trust them by sharing your feelings, and this can help to build trust towards you as well.

And when you are honest with the other person, they are more likely to be honest with you about their feelings too.

Being able to talk openly about your feelings with each other is a necessary and important part of building a deeper relationship.

◇You can feel better.

By allowing your feelings to come out, you feel lighter anyway.

The tension in your body that you feel when you are pondering something can be relieved.

Even if you don’t talk about it seriously, just talking about it with someone casually in a conversation can be effective.

Despite these good points, why do we make the decision to keep our feelings bottled up?

It is because there is a belief that letting out negative feelings is a sign of weakness, and that showing them out may make it more painful or worsen the situation.

However, as I mentioned earlier, when people try to suppress their feelings, they tend to resort to short-term solutions such as binge eating, risky sexual behavior, alcohol or drug abuse, and others, which can lead to more pain later on.

Talking about the painful feelings will not make the situation worse but will make you feel better.

Letting out unpleasant feelings may be revealing vulnerability.

However, it is a feeling that everyone experiences, and I think that’s what makes us human.

When a person who is always reliable and can work efficiently expresses his or her difficult feelings, don’t you feel relieved to know that he or she is also human?

I think it is definitely better to show vulnerability and be refreshed than to be completely defeated without showing vulnerability.

But for those who don’t usually show their feelings, it is difficult to do so.

How can we put our feelings into words?

◎ Name your feelings.

When you keep your feelings to yourself, there may be many reasons, but you may not actually know what you are feeling exactly. It is quite common for people to spend time thinking, “I’m feeling bothered,” and then just leave it that way.

In such cases, try to find out how you are feeling.

For example, if a friend’s unusual attitude makes you feel uncomfortable, you might say that a friend you normally enjoy talking to has given you the cold shoulder, and that you feel hurt and sad about it.

However, when trying to explain feelings, it is not always easy to find the exact feeling that fits.

If this is the case, please refer to the following words that describe feelings to help you find the feeling that fits you best.

Anxious	Happy	Sad
Embarrassed	Fearful	Lacking
Calm	Regretful	Empty
Excited	Ashamed	Envious
Frustrated	Worried	Energized
Warm	Burdened	Angry
Lonely	Relieved	Proud
Hopeless	Panic	Nervous
Annoyed	Amused	Disappointed
Tired	Bored	Happy

There are many other feelings besides these.

Explore them in each situation.

◎ Express positive feelings as well.

It is important to have someone listen to your painful feelings.

However, if you always make negative comments every time you meet, the person you are with becomes tired.

Let’s not rely too much on someone by thinking, “This person understands my difficult feelings, so I should ask him to listen to me every time I meet with him!”

It is important to keep a balance by also talking about positive feelings, such as things that made you happy or excited.

Another thing to do is to express your gratitude to the person who listens to you.

And be willing to listen to what they have to say.

If you are grateful to be listened to, they should feel the same way.

Of course, avoid forcing them to do so.

◎ Be aware of changes in your body and behavior.

When you are angry, you may feel as if blood is pumping to your head.

When you feel anxious, you may feel as if your heart is tightening.

When you feel frustrated, you may scratch your head.

People react differently, but when there is a change in our emotions, our bodies and behavior also change.

Emotions are emitted before thoughts, so noticing the accompanying changes in our body and behavior helps us become aware of how we are feeling.

As we become more sensitive to this, we can also learn to restrain our emotional behavior as much as possible, which allows us to express our feelings in a calm manner.

◎ Talk to a counselor.

To get your feelings out and clear your mind, having someone listen to you is more effective than doing it by yourself.

However, if you do not have anyone to talk to about your feelings, or if you are not sure what to think about your feelings, counseling is one option.

It is an environment where you can focus entirely on yourself, as it is a place to discuss only about you, your feelings and concerns.

At first you may not know what to say, but as you talk with the counselor, your mind gets organized and you will be able to express your feelings in words.

Expressing feelings is important for us to understand more about ourselves.

Knowing ourselves helps us make calm decisions in stressful situations and prevents us from getting stuck.

Use emotional language to express how you feel, rather than short-term, risky emotional expressions.