5 Steps to Raise Your Self-Esteem.

We hear the term “self-esteem”” all the time these days.

Self-esteem is closely related to our relationships, our attitude toward daily tasks, and our mental health.

Self-esteem is a general self-evaluation of oneself in various areas such as personality, appearance, experiences of failure and success, and so on.

If your view of yourself is positive, your self-esteem is high; if your view of yourself is negative, your self-esteem is low.

Don’t you think that it is better to acknowledge yourself and feel positive about yourself?

If you have low self-esteem, you do not feel good about yourself, so you tend to criticize yourself no matter what you do.

When you fail, of course you blame yourself, and even when you successfully carry something through, you rarely acknowledge your own abilities, saying that you were just lucky.

Furthermore, low self-esteem makes it difficult to have confidence in one’s own opinions.

So you end up relying solely on the opinions of others and are unable to make any decisions without them.

As a result, you may question the importance of your existence and find no meaning in your life.

If this state of mind persists, you may become emotional through anger, frustration, anxiety, or regret, which can lead to physical or emotional harm to yourself or someone else around you.

From this perspective, increasing self-esteem is important for us to live a healthy life.

However, there are some things we must be careful about.

When self-esteem is too high, people tend to exaggerate their strengths and overlook or “cover up” their weaknesses and mistakes.

As a result, they may become narcissists who do not listen to others’ opinions because their own opinions are the most important.

So, everything is a balance.

Evaluate yourself realistically in a well-balanced manner rather than aiming for extremely high places.

With that in mind, let’s look at what you can do to raise your self-esteem step by step.

1. Explore the causes of low self-esteem.

Why do you have a poor evaluation of yourself?

There are various reasons for this.

You may not have been able to meet your parents’ needs, you may not have received praise or attention, you may have experienced physical or emotional abuse from your parents, you may be in a low social status, you may be battling a serious illness, you may be suffering from depression or other mental health conditions, you may be struggling financially, and so on.

There may be a combination of several causes, not just one.

Try to find out what is causing your low self-esteem.

And how much they affect you emotionally.

This awareness helps you understand what it means to be anxious or hard on yourself, and makes it easier to cope with the situation in the future.

2. Realize that your thoughts about yourself are just opinions.

What kind of person are you?

A person who is looked down upon by everyone because you can’t make things fun when you are with people?

A person who always feels inferior compared to others because there is nothing you are good at?

A cowardly and dishonest person who behaves by worrying about other people’s mood in everything you do?

First write down what you think of yourself.

Then consider whether they are your opinions or facts.

Most of what we think about ourselves is our own opinion.

They make us sad, angry, or happy, and we behave or avoid behavior based on those opinions.

You are free to think whatever you want.

But be careful, they can take you into a negative darkness.

Opinions are ambiguous, and they are often misunderstandings or assumptions.

Isn’t in vain to feel bad because of a misunderstanding or an assumption?

Is that thought about you a fact or an opinion?

3. Modify your thinking.

If your view toward yourself is an opinion and it is making you suffer, then change that opinion.

Do you have solid evidence to support your opinion?

If so, what are those experiences?

Conversely, do you have any experiences or thoughts that contradict your opinion?

Many of your painful thoughts are extreme opinions.

Reflect objectively on those thoughts and modify those extreme parts of your opinion.

If you find that they are factual with evidence, then accept them.

However, there can be many more thoughts that arise even after you accept them.

Observe those thoughts further so that they do not become extreme.

Please see “How to Deal With Negative Thoughts” to learn more.

3. Acknowledge your good qualities.

Low self-esteem makes you hard on yourself.

“My team lost because of my failure at that time, and everyone must be resentful of me.”

“Because I’m inefficient, I’m causing trouble for my coworkers, and there’s no way I can get promoted.”

“I will never have a girlfriend because I’m not thoughtful.”

Even when you are not in a situation where you need to take responsibility for everything, you blame yourself completely, or you despise yourself and decide on your own that your future is a bad one.

Reflecting on yourself is important, but it is too harsh.

If you are too hard on yourself, you will always look for the negative things about yourself and develop a habit of constantly looking for your faults.

Think about the good parts of yourself.

It doesn’t matter if it’s what you’ve accomplished since you were little, what you’ve done for others, that you have important friends and family, that you have hobbies, that you are punctual, that you can cook a good meal, that you can sing well, that your room is always neat and tidy, or anything else.

And then acknowledge you for being able to do that.

Treat yourself as you would treat your loved ones.

By doing so, your view of yourself will gradually change for the better.

5. Do what your “likeable self” would do.

Now that you have reflected on the kind of person you are now, think about what kind of person your “likeable self” is, that is, the self that you can feel positive about who you are.

What kind of behavior does this self exhibit in any given situation?

How do you live your life?

And, think of what are some of the things you can do now among those things?

Do not behave after you like yourself, but first behave in order to like yourself.

By behaving, your brain recognizes that “I can do it.”

And the next time around, it will be easier than the first time to take the behavior that your “likeable self” is likely to take.

And you will gradually like yourself for being able to do things.

The state of mind of not liking yourself is quite painful.

Lacking self-confidence, you hesitate to do what you want to do, blame yourself and always have a feeling of insecurity.

But by knowing the cause and gradually modifying your thinking and behavior, your perception of yourself become more positive.

Let’s become fond of yourself.

You will see the world in a totally different way.