5 Ways  to Build Self-Confidence

“I’m always nervous because I don’t feel confident in myself.”

“If I had a little more self-confidence, my life would be more enjoyable.”

“How can that person be so confident?”

I think there are many people who have once wondered such things.

Confidence is what makes our daily life and mentality more vibrant.

When you have a confidence, you can put your thoughts into action without hesitation.

It allows you to have a sense of being in control of things, so you can manage our daily tasks with a sense of enjoyment.

You become more resilient to stress because you have the confidence that you can handle any problems that may arise.

On the other hand, lack of self-confidence can cause damage to one’s mental health.

You avoid doing new things or things you think you can’t do, and you hate yourself for doing so.

When something unusual happens or a problem arises, you become overly stressed because you don’t know what to do.

Lacking confidence in your own opinions, you are always swayed by someone else’s.

As a result, you are unable to say what you want to say.

Well, it’ s better to be confident, isn’t it?

Then, where does our confidence come from?

It is a combination of many factors that build and destroy our confidence.

Among the factors that can destroy our confidence, I believe that our childhood experiences, our attitude toward ourselves, and the pressures of the society have a great impact.

When you were young, your parents and other adults around you always criticized you for things you couldn’t do, saying, “Why can’t you do something like this?” and never praised you for what you achieved, saying, “It’s normal for you to be able to do this.”

You have been compared to your classmates and/or siblings, being told like, “Your friend is so good but you…,” or “Your sister can study so well but you…,” and so on.

People who are raised in such a way cannot develop self-confidence, as is obvious.

Another one that can break your confidence is your attitude toward yourself.

The attitude toward yourself, here, is kindness toward yourself.

People who lack self-confidence are very hard on themselves.

If they keep seeking perfection, they will never get the feeling of “I did it!” and confidence will never grow.

They do not give credit for what they have done, but criticize harshly, saying that they could have done it better or should have done it differently.

In short, it is a perfectionist personality.

And then the social pressure.

This is the pressure from the images of “awesome people” that are imprinted on us by the media and social media.

The brilliant people who have succeeded in business as a result of their hard work, celebrities in a beautiful shape, people who are happily married and build a loving family, and so on.

When people are exposed daily to an exaggerated version of what makes them “envious,” they can start thinking if they have to be like them or if it may be what happiness is about.

And, not having those things makes us lose confidence in ourselves.

So, let’s regain confidence.

Or build a new one.

1. Know the cause of your lack of confidence.

Past experiences cannot be erased.

Negative words that you were told in the past may keep repeating in your mind, and you feel sad and depressed.

It is painful.

But what I want you to know here is that those words are also replaced by your words, and you may have blamed yourself with them.

After having been told like ‘You can’t even do this’ over and over again, “I’m a useless and I can’t do anything well.”

It is not uncommon for people with such negative experience to speak negatively about themselves.

It is not your fault that the people around you are speaking negatively to you.

Those people have or had a problem.

Of course, if you make a mistake or cause trouble for others, people may give you a hard time.

But even if that is the case, there should be love in that words of rebuke and it should not destroy your confidence.

What I am trying to say here is that it is important to look back at the critical words against you and their causes, and realize that they are not true, but only what your past environment has made you think that way.

Then use new experiences to repaint your view of yourself.

2. Try anyway.

You don’t do what you don’t think you can do because you don’t have confidence.

Then, you will never gain confidence.

Because the success experience of “I could do it!” is what builds confidence.

If something seems impossible, you can put it off until later.

Try things you think you can do but have never done before, or things you think you can do but may be a little difficult.

And as you gradually increase the level of challenge, you will find that before you know it, you will have built up your confidence.

3. Don’t compare yourself to the “great” people that the society exaggerates.

It is important to learn from and be inspired by people who are “amazing” to you and motivate yourself, but don’t compare yourself to them.

As I have written many times, everyone is different.

Therefore, you cannot compare.

Trying to compare makes you tired emotionally.

Trying to compare cannot make you that person.

You should look for your greatness.

Then compare your past self with your present self and try to find how you have grown, what you have gained, what you have become capable of.

That way you won’t be wasting your energy.

4. Be kind to yourself and accept compliments as they are.

If you are always critical of yourself, how do you take compliments from people around you?

When people say nice things about you, do you think, “Well, it’s probably just a social remark“ or “Everyone else can do that too”?

People with low self-confidence tend to interpret negative things as more than they are, but they tend to downplay or ignore positive things like compliments from others.

Be kind to yourself.

Take good words about you as they come, and let them build your self-confidence.

5. Act as if you are a confident person.

If you are already confident, how would you act? This is the “act as if ” method.

This is a great technique where you act first and tell it to your brain that you are confident, and before you know it, you are already confident.

If you are a confident person, what does your posture look like? Is it rounded or is it upright?

If you are a confident person, how do you speak?

If you are a confident person, how do you spend your time?

Ask yourself these questions and answer them, and then actually act accordingly.

You would act differently than you would if you were not confident.

If you have been in a state of low self-confidence for a long time, regaining it may not be easy.

But it is possible that you can regain and build confidence.

Believe in yourself to be confident and become resilient to stress.