Find your good qualities, not weaknesses.

When you are not confident, or when you have negative experiences, you tend to focus on your weaknesses.

“People do not like me because I am neither good at sport nor study.”

“I shouldn’t talk with girls because I am bad-looking.”

“I am a bad mother because my child is always crying.” etc…

You repeat such self-talk to yourself again and again, then it becomes a habit that you try to find your weaknesses in various situations.

It further makes you engage in avoidance while assuming that you will fail because you think you are not good at anything.

Avoiding allows you to protect yourself from being hurt as you do not have a chance to fail.

However, it does not change your belief about your shortcomings because avoidance can also make you lose the chance to discover your ability to do something.

Then, you may strengthen your belief that you are failure in everything.

This is a vicious cycle that you are no longer able to spot your strengths in yourself.

You keep avoiding and constantly feeling pressured to engage in things that may possibly hurt your feelings.

In this cycle, you are not able to find enjoyment and fulfillment in your life, and it is not healthy.

You are using tremendous energy to focus on your weaknesses and to blame yourself for not being able to do things that you wish to do.

It only directs you to a place where you feel suffocated.  

Let’s change where you use energy.

Use your energy to look for your strengths instead of focusing only on your shortcomings.

Because it is habituated to look at weaknesses only, it may not be easy to find your good qualities.

 However, since you were able to make it habituated, you are also able to habituate to focus on strengths too.

Take time to look for your inner strengths, which you do not compare with other people but focus on yourself.

You do not need to share with anyone, just keep it in yourself, so you don’t need to feel shy about declaring them.

I am good at singing, I like cleaning my room, I am honest, I have a friend who cares and listens to me, I have achieved a score better than average in class, I help my siblings study…etc.

Also, try to remember what your family, friends or other people said about you.

Because when you focus on your weaknesses only, you tend to ignore compliments from others.

Please pay attention to good things that  people say about you.

Once you find your strengths, try to read it aloud and remind yourself of them every day.

Then, use them to change your self-talk like…

“I may not be good at sports and study, but I am honest and I have a friend who I can talk with.”

“I failed and embarrassed myself but I am proud of myself trying. I was able to learn from the experience.”

You should not be the one who defeats yourself with negative words but you can be one who encourages yourself and brings confidence with your positive qualities.