How to Be Positive

There are times when you feel annoyed by all the bad things that happen to you, then you compare yourself with others around you, and wonder why these things only happen to you.

At such times, you may find yourself envious of people who always seem to be having fun.

Sometimes you may get angry.

You may even think, “I wish he were unhappy too.”

We take pleasure in the misery of others. 

Seeing other people’s misfortune makes you feel better about your situation.

Human beings have such a trait unfortunately.

But it can’t be helped.

It is important to understand and accept it, then we can modify that kind of thoughts to be more positive.

So, why do so many unpleasant things happen to you?

It can be said that it caused by your inborn luck or destiny, but psychology does not allow such explanation.

Then, what is the psychological explanation?

It’s because you are focusing on negative events in your life while ignoring the positive ones.

When something bad or painful events happens to us, we feel stressed.

And, when we experience difficult situations multiple times, it can lead us to hold negative emotions like helplessness and disappointment.

Those can eventually stay within us as negative thought, “I must be possessed by evil spirit” and/or “nothing good will ever happen to me in the future.”

These thoughts become our core beliefs and we interpret things or events in a way to protect those beliefs.

We do so because we are creatures that prefer not to admit that we are wrong, wanting to make sense of the situations or events according to our own belief.

Let’ say, if you believe, “I’m fat and ugly. No one needs me or loves me.” 

Then, someone asks you, “Have you lost some weight? “

 Because you think you are fat, you deny the comment in your mind, “That’s a lie, she thinks I am fat, so she is being sarcastic. “

In another situation, when someone else asks, “Have you gained some weight?”

Then, you quickly pick up that comment, and confirm within yourself by saying “See, I knew it.”

You accept it without any hesitation which you may have done when you received the negative comment.

As you can see, such mind attitude is affected by your own core beliefs and you are choosing to pick the comment to suit your beliefs despite it can make you feel down.

As a result, you think that the bad thing happened to you again!

You create and nurture your own negative thoughts.

And you will always be looking for things to support those thoughts, and you will not be able to notice positive words or situations.

Core beliefs, they have a very strong influence on your emotional generation.

However, on the contrary, if you practice finding positive thoughts and good things about yourself, the way you see the world will change.

Get out of the negativity loop.

Identifying your negative core beliefs and accept that you live with the belief is important.

It is not your fault but it is natural to think that way when you experience stressful events in your life.

But being aware of them is the first step towards getting out of vicious cycle.

Also, in your daily life, even if you don’t like being active, find some activities that you can feel positive about yourself.

Even if it’s just one thing, even if it’s trivial, it’s enough.

It can be anything: feeling a nice breeze, cleaning a room, having someone to share feelings with each other, going for a short walk, etc.

The more you practice finding the positive in your days, the less you will envy others’ happiness, and you will never wish them unhappiness because once you have found the elements that make you happy, you will find it mentally and physically useless to do so.

You’ll feel lighter.